How was I ever to know that one day, the three most important letters of the alphabet in my life would be this, CJD. Seems so random, and it is until the letters are associated with the neurologists who first named and described it in 1922, Hans Creutzfeldt and Alfons Jakob. Within the span of about 6 weeks, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease took the life of my precious Irene. She was gone just 12 days after actual diagnosis.

History is fascinating. Learning about and studying history, one learns about origin and meaning. Learning about history and one becomes more attuned to the world around them. Experiencing history can be life changing, at least it has been for me.

Nine months after Irene’s departure, there is still not a day that goes by without my constant reminder of Irene. I was, after all, with her for just short of 45 years. Thirty-five of those years we were married and happy. We were strong and knew we could face anything together. Anything. And we did, we faced the fast decline and death from CJD together. Irene did even more, she lived it.

I traveled a lot in my previous career, often gone for the entire week only returning back home on a Friday, then back to the airport on Sunday. Irene would always tell me all the things she got accomplished while I was away. She accomplished much. One of her stories was especially challenging for her. While in the middle of painting the ceiling in the carpeted Dining Room, she accidentally spilled a newly opened can of fresh white paint all over the floor. Now that was a story.

I telling Irene upon my return home that she was just like Nicole Kidman in the 2003 movie Cold Mountain. Kidman’s character was left on the farm by her husband who was off to partake in the Civil war. He had no choice, she had no choice. Kidman’s character had a lot to all the stress of maintaining the farm, the animals, illness, family death, food…everything. It was a magnanimous struggle but she did it.

Irene said to me, “I don’t want to be [character] Nicole Kidman.”

That statement really spoke to me and I never again said it out loud. I was not home to help with the challenges of daily life which included two dogs. My appreciation for everything she did whether I was home or not grew by leaps and bounds.

Although Irene and I do not live on a farm, I find myself thinking that now I am like the Kidman character. All alone left to take care of the house and the dogs by myself. Daily life alone is not at all easy. But I must keep stepping and with those steps I find my life’s purpose is changing.

My life’s focus and purpose is now in the direction of CJD. What can I do to help with education of the disease. Targeting medical professionals who are willing to include Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease within professional development classes. Raising money to help research agencies that focus on neurodegenerative brain diseases and CJD. Lobbying Congress for fund allocation to help find treatment and one day a cure for this horrible fatal disease. I will do it all. And I will maintain our home, and the health and wellbeing of our dogs. I will do it all to the best of my ability for the rest of my life.

After all, Irene did it all for me when I was gone.