Under the Musings tab is a newly published essay titled Perfectionism and Music. If you struggle with perfectionism then this essay will make complete sense. If you do not struggle with perfectionism, then this essay is one you should read anyway so that you gain a better understanding of those who do struggle with it. For me, it took me three days to write the essay just because I kept making changes. Yes, I am a (always recovering) Perfectionist.
We go through our childhood and teen years formulating what we ‘want to be when we grow up.’ Many of us are headstrong with an idea, perhaps even a carefully mapped out plan. This scripted and well planned series of actions doesn’t always play out the way we imagine. She Started It located in the I Remember tab, is an account to where I am now, in my working years.
We are busy people! As busy people and when a particular task is finished we often think to ourselves, what should I do now? There’s gotta be something…hmmm, let me look at my To Do list…
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we consistently put ourselves in a position where we need to decide what to do next?
It is cathartic to write this because this is me. I am this person, and you may or may not be as well. Those who are intensely driven in life are so because they set goals and actually DO them. We don’t stop until our goal is accomplished. In essence, we become slaves to our goals and we are internally dissatisfied when we ‘fail’.
It is individuals with this ‘intensity’ that actually need reminding to put mind and body first, at least from time to time. Almost like as if we need to give ourselves permission to do…Nothing.
I am fortunate enough to be able to shut off all thoughts when I want to go to sleep. This allows me to fall asleep certainly within 60 seconds. Irene says it’s more like 10 seconds. It’s a wonderful feeling to simply ‘let go’ of anything that has occurred throughout the day, anything that I was previously planning for the day and allow my body to go into complete rest and sleep fast. I never even know it’s coming, it just happens.
Our busy lives are so because we want to be productive. Ok but we should also permit ourselves to be non-productive, at least for a small slice of the day. Perhaps even in small increments throughout the day. It’s OK.
On a vacation touring Italy once with a group, my wife and I were out to dinner with our friends. One of our group members was not particularly fond of her selection and wished she had ordered something else. I remember her saying “I hope this isn’t my last meal.” I don’t need to tell you what she was implying.
As we fill our busy lives with even more business, stop and say to yourself “I hope this isn’t my last day.” This sentiment should be the game changer to our daily lives.
There are some things in life that happen many times, over and over. There are some things in life that happen only once. There are some people in life who we make a point to see frequently. Those people are our families and friends. We typically see them on a regular basis, and even if not frequently, these people are held dear to our hearts.
Things come and go, but they are just ‘things’. Much of today’s American society is caught up in an upward spiral of materialism. Not good. Often the same individuals see others in life just as disposable as material goods in current possession. Talk about disposable.
Fortunately modern day society has opened its eyes to the problem of disposal, and is now much more aware of the long term impact of accumulated disposed products and ‘goods’.
A book I read some years ago penned this opening sentence, “It’s not about you”. Although I read the book in its entirety, that opening line was almost enough. It’s not about you. It’s not about me either.
It’s not about you. Think about it. Yes, humbling or at least it should be.
During our lifetime, there are some people who drift in, and others who drift out. Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes it is not. Those that drift in are those we meet by happenstance. A new acquaintance, yet still in the ‘drifter’ category until a level of significance is determined. Even then we may choose to drift those individuals out of our lives. No worry.
The people we bring into our lives are those we make a conscious effort to allow and show vulnerability. An understanding that extends beyond superficial acquaintanceship. Bringing someone into our lives is something we do by choice. It doesn’t merely ‘happen’ to us. We make that choice. We are proactive in the process. We willingly allow some, or all of our facade to become transparent so that these people see who we really are.
The people we bring into our lives are the ones we are hurt most when they are gone. Gone, as in no longer in our physical realm but never gone in the fabric of our being.
It’s not about me, it’s about those who made me.
Those who made me are the people who I have willingly brought into my life. The convoluted tangled web of my being is intertwined with the convoluted tangled web of my family, my friends, those whom I love. It matters big time if we can reach out and touch these people, but sometimes we cannot. That doesn’t change who I am and it doesn’t change who you are either. It’s not about us, it’s about the impact we make on those around us, and the impact others have made on us. Love.
For my pal Grant 5/14/06 – 1/8/20
Four hours, eighteen minutes, and twenty one seconds. It was grueling. Found under the I Remember tab is an essay about how I came to run my first marathon 19 years ago.
The only thing constant is change. Change is just that, change. There is no good change, and there is no bad change…it just is. Individual perspective to change is what causes and/or creates happiness or angst, and acceptance to change outcome therefore becomes necessary.
The new year will bring about many changes. Some within vision, and some unforeseen. I think a retrospective outlook will help us all learn how to better manage the uncertainty of change.
My latest essay, Mom is an Artist, found under the I Remember tab describes the influence my mom has has on my life as an artist/designer. Although I am now an elementary school teacher, I am first and foremost an artist and I bring that creative aspect of myself into the classroom at every opportunity. I LOVE art, and I love the aesthetic of what art brings to the psyche at a conscious and sub-conscious level. We LIVE art, whether we admit to that fact or not. Art, in one aspect or another, is a part of our everyday lives. Those in tuned to this very sentiment will be able to directly relate to my words. Those thoughtfully otherwise will find new ideas to ponder.