As I played the piano this morning I was thinking about my life, present and past. Generally in the morning I make a point to not think about anything other than sheet music and my proficiency level to play it well. Thinking can be a show-stopper at times because I begin to ‘play the tape’ and then dig deeper into the memory.
We’ve all heard the phrases: ‘Once in a lifetime opportunity’, ‘Chance of a lifetime opportunity’, and surely more. Phrases as such are positioned so that those who listen can waste no time in making that purchase, signing up, committing to, share the opportunity with family, friends, and sometimes even neighbors.
Digging deeper in thought connected me to ones daily experiences and how these experiences help to shape a person for who they are or rather who they have become. Experiences may add-to, or take-away from the person, the being. And often these experiences only truly do occur once in a lifetime.
Experiences = Lessons
They are not random, even if it seems otherwise.
Each day, every day is a lesson. A lesson of a lifetime. We may experience a similar lesson on a different day, but that particular lesson involves every single variable that surrounds it. Never are the variables ever the same and there is always something to learn through these lessons of a lifetime.
I wrote a piece some time ago titled Your House is Like a Museum. Apparently the internet bots like that one because it gets multiple views almost every single day. Once it was even ‘viewed’ well over 100 times in one day. Whole I thought the subject matter and content was worth writing about, I really didn’t think that post would have the greatest number of views over any other Post or Page. So here’s what I did… I Copied and Pasted the title of that piece and changed ‘Your’ into ‘My’ for this post.
If it was the title’s algorithm which attracted the bot, then this Post on the Home page will receive daily views as well. In doing so, I noticed something. I should have initially written the lowercase ‘l’ as uppercase ‘L’, since the word Like is part of the title. But I did not.
So here’s where the unsolved mystery will possibly not replicate. In creating this post, I did make the change and ‘Like’ is now written with an uppercase ‘L’. I also changed the word ‘Your’ in the original piece to ‘My’ for this post. One last change, I fixed the word found in the title of the original essay. It too is now written with an uppercase ‘L’.
While it doesn’t seem like I did much to the piece’s title, I did change three variables. I’m sure once I ‘publish’ this post the internet bots will be in a digital tizzy not knowing what to do. Something, actually three something’s with the bot comfort object has changed.
One of two things will occur. I this website may increase its page viewings due to the replicated title, or both site locations Musings tab and Home page will no longer see habitual visits from the bots. Who knows? All this may start a bot feeding frenzy, or I may have just removed that algorithm plate for good.
Go somewhere else internet bots. I think we’d all be happier if, in your own digital species replication, you just cancelled one another out.
Time between Christmas and New Years is always so quiet, at least for me. Presents have been opened, decorative lights slowly trickle off for another year, local roadways have fewer cars, and televised news is rather ‘light’ and generic. There’s just not a whole lot going on. It’s like the stillness after a big storm where only remnants left in its wake remain.
I’m sure for many, if not most, this is not a similar scenario especially for those with dependants living at or away from home. We’re not waiting for any flights, not expecting any company, and we’re not going anywhere of note. I can however hear the dogs breathing as they sleep, and the wall clock as it signals the seconds gone by.
Today was, still is, Christmas. It was my first Christmas without mom and dad. Weird. Those who we see and those who we don’t see may or may not be around the next time we are looking. I remember last year thinking that it may be the last Christmas I have while both parents were still alive. I didn’t know that one year from then neither of the two would be here, still living. And so they’re not here, not living.
I heard mom’s voice today, for real. From a voice message that I never erased, one she left for me on Christmas day before we spoke on the phone together later on that day. She sounded good and her voice was bittersweet to hear. Comfort, it’s what we seek and I was able to find some today.
Merry Christmas Mom and Dad.
Biological machines we are, us humans. We take for granted ‘things’ working right within this shell, and we have no idea to the extent these things not only work right, but also in a behind-the-scenes orchestrated effort with one another.
Until they don’t.
Existence. When I think deeply about it I am confused as to why anyone would consciously mismanage the most priceless component of our lives. We care about the proper working order of our house and all the components within it. We care about the proper working order of our vehicles and we have them regularly serviced. We care about the proper working order of our internet, our computers, of our banks, of… well, just about everything.
Yet sometimes we use and abuse these things, or substances, or situations, or even other people. And sometimes we do that so effortlessly.
Before the bell rings and all the chaos begins. Before I scoot out the door and join in on the race, I think it’s time to do a daily check on how things are, how things could be. I want to make sure I fit myself for success in all that I do, but first I must see to it that this vessel is in proper working order.
Look this one up and see if the words’ definition describes a character of you, or someone you know. It certainly describes a character trait of many someone’s I know, or encounter on a daily basis. I heard the word yesterday and did not know its meaning so was compelled to look up its definition. Quite awesome I thought, and once I learned of its origin I was able to imagine it in frequent use. I think it’s my adopted word of the week.
I won’t divulge its definition or origin. That is up to you!
Oh my goodness, look what I have in front of me, the entire day! What am I going to do with it? How will I react in all situations? Who will I show care and empathy to? I have eight thousand, six hundred and forty seconds to make a positive impact not only in my life, but in the lives of others! Juicy! That’s a whole seven hundred and twenty minutes worth of glorious time! It all boils down to twelve waking hours. That’s 12 waking hours! Oh man, what will I do with that much time?
Wowza, just look at today!
I don’t expect perfectionism from my students, so why should I expect perfectionism of myself? Each and every day I strive, yes I do. Each and every day, I miss the mark. Darn! It certainly is a difficult pill to swallow.
Maybe if I write about it in various fashion I’ll one day accept the reality that I am not perfect. Perfectionism, a personality trait I got from mom. Thanks mom, but I’m not perfect.
Imagine reading a book and when the page is turned, there is nothing else but blank pages. The previously read sentence may have been a complete thought or perhaps it ended midstream without complete thought. Imagine watching a movie and suddenly the video feed goes blank. The movie wasn’t even finished. Nothing else. One won’t know what happens next in the story and one never will.
Imagine reading a book or watching a movie through completion and realizing there will never be another book, there will never be another movie.
Only nothingness, emptiness.
I’m understanding that reality these days as it relates to life, and I’m not comforted. When life ends, it ends. There is no ‘to be continued’, no waiting until the next season, no ‘next’ chapter or sequel. There is no next, its just gone.
Did I attend the event after all? Did I leave the conversation in a good place when I left? Did I show love, and did I say ‘I love you’?
Am I ready for the unseen finality of when it does happen?
I want to have all my ducks in a row. I want to say everything I should have said, done everything I should have done, and positioned myself in the best light I possibly can for everyone involved. Complete selfish-selflessness all in place, for when it ends.
This one took me longer to write than one would think because I wanted to create powerful imagery that parallels my mind. I believe it was worth my time. Just posted under the Musings tab is an essay titled The Most Comfortable Place. Read it, and then feel it.