Now I Know

While growing up I always wondered why eyebrows on old men get so gnarly. I’m guessing you probably know what I mean because you’ve seen it yourself. You might even be one of those gnarly-browed men reading this now. We’ve all seen it, eyebrows that don’t lie flat but instead the brow hairs stray out in every direction looking like a shaped tumble weed. Honestly, I don’t think it looks good, period. I’m thinking “Why would anyone let their eyebrow hair grow so wildly, do something about it!”

Over time I started to notice something with me that I first thought was an anomaly. There was one wild stray eyebrow growing above one of my eyes that wasn’t laying down like the rest of the brow hairs. No big deal I thought. So I found a pair of scissors and cut it off. It looked to me as if one of the hairs somehow became permanently bent and was sticking straight out. Not only did I not like how it looked on me, but I initially came to notice this situation when I felt my eyebrow hair rub against the inner frame of my glasses. I also don’t like the feeling of that particular sensation of touch. Apparently some people don’t seem to mind, or give second thought to the way that sensation feels on their brow. As a result, the upper inside portion of such eyeglass lenses become foggy with natural human oils. Yuk, to me. It’s greasy. Do something about it!

As time advanced and my physical-self continued to advance with it, I began to notice that more and more of those wandering eyebrow hairs were growing astray. They were growing at a different angle from their follicle counterparts. Although I certainly do not consider myself as old, even though the number is kind of up there, I am aware that the current biological phenomenon that I am experiencing is something that all men encounter as they grow older. More yuk. No one escapes the ravages of linear time. Now I find myself cutting more and more of those stray eyebrow hairs. If the brow hairs are not going to lay flay against the lower portion of my forehead, then what is the point?

Sigh…I am now facing a new realization in which I am equally not as pleased. Often I have wondered why most older men have eyebrows that appear sparse. Eyebrows that appear as if they need eyebrow pencil to help with visual consistency and fullness. I could never understand why those less-than-dense looking eyebrows appeared as they did. Ok, the hard realization that men lose testosterone levels as they grow older…, done. But the loss of testosterone has nothing to do with sparse looking eyebrows in older men, or maybe it is the exact reason. Maybe the lower testosterone levels that men experience in the aging process is the culprit of eyebrow hairs that do not lie flat against the face. As a result, men who are bothered by those directionally challenged hairs, cut them off their face. Age then necessitates the need to cut each of those brow hairs, or so it seems.

The dilemma for man…does one let his eyebrows grow in such a wild fashion that others he encounters formulate a thought that the only solution is a weedwacker? Or does he continue to remove every eyebrow-gone-astray? Neither choice is optimal.

I no longer wonder why older men have either super-bushy eyebrows, or sparsely populated eyebrows. Now I know.