Intentional writing. Intentional is the adjective, which modify’s or describes the noun, writing. I often think I should write, but unless I make the intentional effort it doesn’t get done. Anything that I write isn’t going to happen by itself, I must do it.

So I am sitting here thinking about my future and what it will bring me. If I allow life to simply ‘happen’ to me then I am passive in my own existence. I don’t want that for me. I am not a fan of passivity. As much as I hate to admit, I used to tell Irene, ‘If you want me to do something, or if you’re trying to tell me something, then tell me. Don’t hint or beat-around-the-bush about it. That’s my black and white self. It either is, or it isn’t.

I knew what she wanted, what she was trying to tell me, but I was requiring a specific ask. I have never cared for implied intentions. TELL me, ASK me, REQUEST of me.

If Irene were sitting next to me in the physical sense right now, she would be telling me. She IS telling me. So what am I waiting for? We had this saying between us both,…”Either sh**, or get off the pot.”

After two long/short years I pre-planned my meals for this week. I haven’t done this since Irene’s passing. I cooked ground beef with the intention to make spaghetti sauce, although I actually ended up combining it with zucchini spirals. I removed three chicken breasts from the freezer which are currently thawing out in the fridge, and I’ll make some kind of chicken meal out of the cooked chicken. My continued ‘health’ will not occur on its own. I must maintain it. I must be intentional about it.

I said to mom and dad for many years, ‘Either use it, or lose it.’ They didn’t use ‘it’, and they ultimately lost ‘it’.

I recognize it is now time for me to get off that said ‘pot’. I don’t want to lose ‘it’.