Change is the only constant in life. However, there are some things that I don’t want changed in my life. Some of those things are routines or activities, and some that are placements or locations of items. There might even be object orientation involved and I don’t want things moved. There are some things I don’t even want to touch and therefore I simply look, with longing.

Good or bad no one is to say or determine, and so it becomes difficult on ‘where to draw the line’. Will I feel better one way or the other? Not comfortable in this situation. Didn’t ask to be in this situation. I don’t want to be in this situation.

I don’t want to make decisions on my own. I don’t want to experience shared milestones by myself. I don’t want all this responsibility. I don’t want.

An opening sentence to a book I read some years ago read ‘It’s not about you’. Was that an eye opener that I was not yet ready to accept. But accept I must. It’s not about me, it’s not. It’s difficult to be selfless when one’s entire life has been catered to, always been cared for.

I’ve done it too, cared for. I cared for you when you were no longer able. I tended to your every need and provided comfort in an otherwise comfortless situation. I was there, right by your side every step of the way. Sometimes it’s just too much and I don’t want to think about all of this.

I don’t want to be alone.