I was there with Irene in the hospital room waiting for something. I guess I was waiting for a miracle in the midst of this murky fog in which we were both currently engulfed. Navigating life with Irene, navigating uncertainty not knowing, and navigating an impending end.

The time came for her physical therapy session, and the nurse brought with her a walker to aid Irene with today’s task, to get out of bed and stand. This day was different however. Irene was losing more of her controlled strength and mental focus in order to manage this seemingly simple task. A task that we always took for granted and never gave a second thought.

Getting Irene to sit up on her own was challenging for everyone, but she tried with everything she had. I saw it, her determination. She was so focused on accomplishing something that she wanted to do. For her, for me, for us.

Helping the nurse, we reached a point where Irene was able to sit up, but only with our help to maintain balance and an upright position. Irene was not able to hold herself upright without our help. And after some muscled struggle, the nurse told me she didn’t want to push Irene on the task any further. At least not now. It just wasn’t going to happen. Irene was no longer able to stand.

I helped lay Irene back into position and the nurse left our room. After every session, Irene would often have a look of concern wondering if she had completed her task successfully, and she did on this day. As I looked into her eyes and smiled I said, “You did it Snuggles, you did it!” I wanted for her to experience to feel success in her recovery, whatever point that may be, however simple. She looked directly into my eyes and I said it again, “You did it, yay you did it!”

Hope, now in her eyes, she asked in her now shaky voice, “I did it?” “Yes! Snuggles you did it!” With anticipation to my encouraging declaration Irene said, “Is that my message?” Our souls locked together I replied, “Yes Snuggles, that’s your message, you did it!”

This was probably the last time Irene’s moon-eyes displayed extreme excitement. With her rising chin and teeth clenched together, along with a beautiful ear-to-ear grin, she giggled. Any successful achievement these days was monumental for us both. I wanted for Irene to experience joy because I feared these times were drawing near to an end. As I hugged and lay with her, she continued her smile and would go on to repeat in whisper-like voice, “I did it, that’s my message, I did it!”

Irene was happy.

The miracle I had been waiting for was something I actually had a very long time, and it was right in front of my eyes. God had given me Irene for 45 years, that’s most of my lifetime. Reliance with, and on another person who promised to be alongside me through life. Reliance on another person to help me through times like this, the most toughest of times.