I probably wrote this in some other Post or Page on this website but it’s worth repeating. The salutation ‘goodbye’, or even the informal ‘bye’ isn’t something I ever end with. It’s too final. Instead, I end a conversation or in-person visit with ‘See you later’. This way the meeting is a to-be-continued situation. I like that because it always leaves hope for a next-time.
Today is Thursday and I saw Dad for the last time on Monday of this week. He was not speaking, but he was still alert. I had a good conversation with him and he listened with pensive intensity. Then he would nod and I knew he could understand everything I said. I showed him some pictures from my phone taken just the previous day at Goldie Palooza and I also showed him a video in which he intently watched. All the time I held his hand, and he held mine.
When I knew that it was time to leave I kissed Dad on the cheek and then told him I was going to do what I always did with Irene, and then kissed him on the nose. That made him smile, I could see it on his face as his eyes squinted just as they always did when he smiled.
I was born on Dad’s birthday some years ago and he always told me that I was his birthday present. Never would a birthday pass without him hearing the same sentiment from me.
I had a great conversation with Dad on Monday. One that I did not want to regret for not having before he left this earth. I was good when I left. He kept his eyes on Gib and I as we headed out the door, then he raised his right hand as a ‘waving’ gesture and I said ‘Ok, bye Dad. I love you, see you later!’
And I will.
I am grateful to have two dogs that do not chew on furniture. When we received Holly, our Golden Retriever puppy a little more than a year ago she joined our ‘Benji’ look-a-like Noel and I worried that she might want to chew on the Steinway’s legs. Selfishness aside, we worried that she would chew on any furniture since we have had that occur in the past with other Golden pups. Fortunately that did not happen. Golden Retrievers are very ‘mouthy’ and they love to chew! However they do have a soft mouth in that when carrying anything they think is important to their dog parents, the object is held gently. Most of the time. We have had a lot of experience with the habits of Goldens so we made sure there were many, MANY safe chew toys in the toy box.
At 16 months old, we’re still at the point of keeping the rooms ‘kid-safe’ for the canine kids because we DO need to be careful on what we leave sitting on living room side tables and such. Having come home to a TV that was mysteriously turned on then finding the remote on the floor, all chewed up, we learned what boundaries we needed to watch for.
After 32 years of primarily Golden canine kids, we’re apparently still learning. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…
Fixated with the concept of time, sometimes I am. So I find myself ruminating about it often. In a great discussion yesterday, it was pointed out that we both are in the 4th quarter of our lives. The clock isn’t stopping, there is no running the play a second time, swapping of man on the field, or OT, nothing. There isn’t even replay action.
Though I don’t plan on going anywhere I do need to make sure that all my ducks are in a row, as penalties can still be earned.
God willing, I won’t sustain any…more.
There is no Free Time. Free Time does not exist because it’s all borrowed. Regardless of how it is split up throughout the day, dedicated time toward anything is never ‘free’. Up against the clock, we are living on borrowed time. But are we?
Living on borrowed time places existence apart from time itself, therefore as something we have option to. But we do not. We do not access time throughout our day, we only block out portions of time to dedicate toward a task, even if it is to sleep.
Time is infinite.
The phrase should be, ‘living in borrowed time’. We are a part of it, time. We are history in the making. This thing we identify as ‘time’ is something we live within, yet its partitioned boundaries are abstract.
Living in borrowed time is never free. It is something that which we are provided, in limited quantities.
I wonder why we ask so many questions when we know that most will go unanswered. If our intent is to find immediate solution for all questions, then we are likely setting ourselves up for disappointment in multiple categories within our brain. As a result, we add a level of complexity to our own thought process. As for rhetorical questions, often those are questions from an outside source thus creating an uninvited imposition for the recipient resulting from an additional question to consider.
What to do?
Just posted under the Art Center tab is an essay titled Wake-up! What it read there was a lifestyle we all completely accepted. That’s just how it was. Art Center College of Design for us was like being ‘Top Gun’, the best of the best. Hell did not matter.
In our minds we do this all the time. When is it a good thing, and when does it become too much? Finding the balance itself can be emotionally overwhelming. It becomes a matter of unspoken If-Then statements. For every action there is reaction. For every choice there is consequence. For every rule, there is an exception. For every law, there is exemption.
Think about it, and then think again.
Just posted under the Musings tab is a piece titled ‘Your House is like a Museum’. In actuality that statement is broad in so many aspects because if my house were really like a museum, square footage and architecture would need to be considered for it to be true. Precision of Language.
Just posted under the Sky tab is a photo taken just yesterday. We become so accustomed to how clouds ‘usually look’ that when otherwise is seen, it creates a different sense of wonder. What does the air movement that created such a visual masterpiece look like? Is it coming or going? Multiple perspectives, and who’s to say?
You either have it or you don’t. I assume it isn’t very common for someone to possess one of the two qualities and not the other. They pretty much go hand-in-hand. Fortunately I possess both. I have achieved much in my life but none of it has just dropped into my lap. Sure, I have received a ‘freebie’ now and then, but I’m not one to sit around and wait for it.
If you can think it, you can achieve it. Do not let logistical obstacles get in your way. Nothing.