Petdad

I have played the piano for many years. I think I’m pretty good, but my expectations are so high for myself that I always think I could, and should do better. I read music. Very rarely have I ever trusted that I could just sit down at the piano and allow my hands to simply wander over the keys and press ‘wherever’. The fear was that whatever transpired wouldn’t sound good at all.

This morning after practicing a Mozart sonata, I allowed myself to do just that. With my eyes closed, I slowly played single notes, chords, and roll-ups. Whatever sounded good at the moment, whatever sounded right, I played. It was not only cathartic, it was absolutely beautiful. I was filled with so much emotion and calmness like none other. It was purely magical.

Littermates, and always together, most always touching one another. Bonnie and Clyde. Our canine kids… they are gone. Bonnie left us earlier this evening around 5:30p. We knew something was terribly wrong when she suddenly laid down after much excitement over her (soon to be eaten) dinner and then could not get back up again. After a short time, I carried her to our bed where she spent her last 20 or so minutes of life in our arms. This before she relaxed into her forever sleep. Such a good girl.

So hard. Bonnie and Clyde were our two golden retriever canine kids and within 6 weeks of one another, they both are now forever in our hearts. Our little Bonnie-B.

We will see you later buttercup! xoxo

I often wonder if we should be consumed with much of which most others do not ponder. Vacillate as I might I do think that answer, at least for me, is yes. I cannot help it. Thought and ponder is in the fabric of my being. In the Musings tab is a short entry about something I think everyone would agree is a nuisance, dust. The entry is titled There is No Escape. And while some may regard such pontification as pointless, those tiny particles are still there, they still demand our attention and they still demand our time.

Just published under the Art Center tab is an essay titled Glamour Puss. There are many stories that could spring from this one, but I kept this essay focused as there is always a reason for doing so. The beginning of the essay is written not to be pretentious, but is needed to set the stage for the essay’s subject.

Each day, we have the opportunity to write ourselves.

Each day, we have the opportunity to right ourselves.

…but it sure looks like it! We recently had a lot of work done at the house, including complete interior painting. The painters did such a good job at filling any holes left from pictures, clocks, and mirrors that I have had difficulty trying to find where the holes were originally.

I know, things do not have to be placed on the wall exactly where they were before…but I like them to be.

In my piano room I have a large sepia-colored photograph compilation of Sky. Looking for the precise holes where it was located before being painted has been a challenge. I thought using a bright LED flashlight would help me locate anomalies on the walls surface, which would help me locate where any holes may have been filled.

Inherent in my nature is to notice patterns, visual or written, and beauty in abstraction. While I shone the flashlight on the wall, I instantly saw the Moon.

I just wrote about a dream that has recently recurred in some form that involve a very big house. Aptly titled Big House within the Dreams tab is one of the many recent big-house dreams that apparently need my attention. Who knows why we dream what we dream. Many people do not remember their dreams. To me, they are thoroughly intriguing because I am involved in something beyond my own conscious reality.

Transparently written are the dreams I have about my ‘relationship’ green mossy lakes. The Canoe Outing, newly found within the Green tab is a short, but emotionally menacing depiction of my dreamt experience while canoeing in waters I should not have been anywhere near. To me it’s like heights, or the fear of being at the very precipice of them. Fear for what could occur, yet drawn to the particular fear out of pure curiosity. Dizzyingly frightening to me nonetheless.

I was originally going to title this post Paradox, but that just seemed somewhat truncated for me. The gifts of linear time has opened the door for a lot of self-contemplation on my part for meaning and value. We don’t typically embrace the ravages of linear time, but perhaps we should. Without the ‘highs’ in life, there could be no ‘lows’ and without the lows in life, there could be no highs.

Perspective on anything carries a lot of weight. While we may not be able to understand everything, we can at least appreciate ‘it’, whatever it may be.

A new essay titled Untouchable is found within the Musings tab. It’s neither a feel-good or downer read, but it is contemplative nonetheless.

Clyde crossed Rainbow Bridge earlier this evening. He was our 11 yr., 8 month old golden retriever and he LIVED each day during those years as if it were his last!

We are all blessed with gifts whether we know it or not. Clyde was one of those gifts, and Irene and I KNEW it. We always referred to him as ‘The King of Cuddles’. There was never a time when he would not want us to hold and pet him…ever. He was always there by our side whenever we made the request, and even when we didn’t.

Clyde was the definition of Golden Retriever. He LOVED water and would always want to swim in water whenever possible, and he LOVED to retrieve…anything! THE most favorite activity that Clyde always enjoyed was playing with ‘The Flip’. He would drop everything for the Flip, which was simply a frisbee flying disc. I could throw the disc long and hard and he would put on his gas to run and catch it over his left shoulder each and every time. He was an absolutely amazing disc catcher.

At our house, Irene and I always made reference and connection to The Lion King being the reflective life of Clyde. The Lion King is one of my favorites of all time specifically for the reason being Clyde. As prophetically sad as it was, we loved ‘The Circle of Life’, and especially ‘I Just Can’t Wait to be King’ as the innocence of a young cub just longed for the day to have the respect of a grown-up. We were never naive to the fact that one day Clyde would have to succumb to the Circle’s closure. Today was that day.

Clyde, we had always known that you were the King that you had always aspired to be. ‘Oh, I just can’t wait to be King!’…You are the King, Clyde. You are the Lion King!

Life is Good! We are all grateful that you showed that loving sentiment to us every single day.

Thank you Clyde. Thank you for the endless love you gave to everyone! Bonnie and Noel will miss you great big! We love you bunches and bunches! We’ll be right back!