Petdad

She was my ‘first’, much older than me, and she was married. Just posted under the I Remember tab is an essay titled Mrs. Fleming.

I wonder how clouds vary in structure and sight in different parts of the world. Clouds are all over the earth. There’s got to be a variance. If not by make-up, then by pattern, I don’t know. Something to research. Just posted under the Sky tab is a captivating pic taken earlier today. As always, stunning!

I was in a brand new world
and You held me from the start
without even having a name.

Though I was nervous and afraid
You took me in your arms
and gave me warmth and comfort
from the start.

Who are you?
What is happening?
What is that sound?
What am I feeling?
Where are we going?

Your gentle voice
and soft eyes relaxed me.
Not sure what to do
I just whimpered, and I
gave in to the moment.

This is where I'm supposed to be,
I know it.
This is where I'm supposed to be,
and this is where I'll stay.

We never know where we will go next. It could be into the past, and sometimes it could be the future. But is it our past, and is it our future?

Dreams. There is no beginning and there is no end.

Is infinity and ever expanding time and space the same for me and for you? We may say it is, we may assume that it is. Is it really?

Dreams. They take me places that I sometimes do not want to go.

Just posted under the Musings tab is an essay titled The Miracle of Love. I think the essay’s words are something I have tried to convey for many years, but have not been able to find the ‘right words’ either spoken or written.

Uniqueness is typically a spontaneous circumstantial occurrence. It just happened with me, just now it did. I wasn’t trying, the desire and words just flowed. And it was pretty awesome.

I’m not claiming what I wrote is ‘all that’, but it was profound for me. The music streamed from my fingers. The Miracle of Love.

Waking up very early in the morning is something I intentionally do. My mind is clear and uncluttered from what the day will bring to me. But I am selfish and desire more time each and every day. I used to force myself, at the expense of sleep time, to stay awake very late in the evening and sometimes into the morning. I thought that my productivity level was optimized and that false knowledge satisfied my brain.

But that was not the case.

It was somewhat of a challenge, but I made the switch to get to bed early and wake up early. The world is slower in the morning, and it feels so good. The morning is when I rev-up my intellectual engine, and within hours there is already more that I’d like to do throughout the day. I’m planning my day without even realizing that I am doing so. The clock is ticking and I better keep moving. Go, go, go. Get it done.

Can I have more hours please?

You should try it too. Allow yourself to be taken by your senses and imagination. Children do it all the time. Perhaps I’ll never grow up and if it means losing my imaginative mind, then that’s perfectly ok with me. Just posted in the Sky tab is a pic I took late March. Another dose of awesomeness.

Free you mind.

I was a child, and I didn’t like tags on my shirts. I could feel the tiniest inconsistency in the weave of fabric and knew how it was supposed to feel against the back of my neck. It just didn’t feel ‘right’ and it would bother me all day long. That minute anomaly in the system would haunt me until the day I figured out that I could just cut the darn tag off and be done with it!

Even removing the tag became an ‘art’ as I learned that it wasn’t simply a matter of one haphazard clip. If I did not cut the tag off my shirt correctly then I would feel the inadequate cut against my neck. And there were times where my solution was executed poorly, at least the back of my neck thought so. At times I would have to revisit the tag cut and examine the errors of my tag removal job.

Obsessive Compulsive Perfectionist? Uh, yes.

Hey, the way I saw it was that I simply knew what I liked and what I didn’t like. And if I didn’t like something, I would work to change it to my liking. Obviously one can deduce the type of individuals who design clothes as many articles of clothing, especially shirts, are now tag-less.

So I say ‘Thank You’ to all the obsessive compulsive perfectionists out there, diagnosed or not, who also knew ‘it’ before actually knowing it. We are societal change-makers!

Just posted under the Musings tab is an essay titled Feeling Good. No day is perfect, but there are perfect moments in any given day that must be recognized. Read them in mine, and find them in yours.

I probably wrote this in some other Post or Page on this website but it’s worth repeating. The salutation ‘goodbye’, or even the informal ‘bye’ isn’t something I ever end with. It’s too final. Instead, I end a conversation or in-person visit with ‘See you later’. This way the meeting is a to-be-continued situation. I like that because it always leaves hope for a next-time.

Today is Thursday and I saw Dad for the last time on Monday of this week. He was not speaking, but he was still alert. I had a good conversation with him and he listened with pensive intensity. Then he would nod and I knew he could understand everything I said. I showed him some pictures from my phone taken just the previous day at Goldie Palooza and I also showed him a video in which he intently watched. All the time I held his hand, and he held mine.

When I knew that it was time to leave I kissed Dad on the cheek and then told him I was going to do what I always did with Irene, and then kissed him on the nose. That made him smile, I could see it on his face as his eyes squinted just as they always did when he smiled.

I was born on Dad’s birthday some years ago and he always told me that I was his birthday present. Never would a birthday pass without him hearing the same sentiment from me.

I had a great conversation with Dad on Monday. One that I did not want to regret for not having before he left this earth. I was good when I left. He kept his eyes on Gib and I as we headed out the door, then he raised his right hand as a ‘waving’ gesture and I said ‘Ok Dad, I love you, see you later!’

And I will.