Petdad

I awoke late today. Thinking that perhaps only minutes went by after my alarm signaled, I looked at the time on my watch which is something I never do. Instead of minutes having passed, I saw that 2 hours had slipped by me and I didn’t even realize it. I was 2 hours late.

Two hours late sounds bad, probably really bad as ‘late’ is late. What was I going to do now with ‘only’ three hours ahead of me before I needed to leave for school? Instead of my usual 5-6 pre-school hours, I had nearly half the time. Disappointed? Somewhat, but after once again coming to grips with my mortal state of being, I accepted my wake-up error.

If I had woken up to my usual time of 2:00am, I would have had time to play the piano, do some reading, do some writing, and exercise afterwards. Who is driving this demanding train of activities?..Me.

There comes a time when one must relinquish control to the physiological abilities and limitations of oneself. This can occur often and any given time, or in periodic spurts. At least I can still manage its’ frequency, for now.

Expectations are high for myself, and for those around me. I believe we should all have high expectations, or at least lofty goals to work toward. With that level of loftiness however, and through the humbling passage of time, I realize that none of this is emotionally healthy or physically sustainable without grace.

Grace, something we need to be reminded of constantly. At least I need to be reminded of it. Receiving necessary hours of sleep shouldn’t be something that we become frustrated by when our bodies tell us that we need more, for whatever reason. I needed the additional sleep and I knew it when I closed my eyes the previous night. But I wanted to ‘power through it’ and wake at my usual time.

I may have wanted to cut my body’s restoration period short, just so that I could get my typical daily routine started. But today offered me a necessary change in my schedule, one that required a level of personal acceptance and relinquishment of control. So therefore my wake-up time is actually ok, or at least should be ok, today.

No, I didn’t get to play piano for two hours, and no my morning routine was somewhat modified. But my perspective on the day depends on me. Therefore I need to ask myself…did I really wake-up late?

Under the Musings tab is a just-published essay on Flow, the comfortable feeling we get when things are proceeding just as planned. When any execution of a specific task works as desired or expected. No, Flow doesn’t always work out ‘as designed’, so what do we learn when this happens? Something to definitely think about…

Creating Report Cards are never fun. There is ZERO time during any school day to work on Report Cards, let alone grade student work. This of course means that a teacher must ‘find’ time to work on them on their personal time. Oh well, it is what it is. Fortunately, I have the freedom to take a break 🙂 Today, I walked outside to soak up another incredible display of clouds in the sky. Check out today’s and other past cloud formations found in the Sky tab. And then GO OUTSIDE and take a look for yourself, wherever you may be.

I just published a new essay in the Dreams tab titled Apollo and Athena. The essay took me a couple weeks to write because it was so convoluted and included many details. Everyone has dreams but some of us remember our dreams more than others. Dreams are not a detached story separate from our lives, they provide a manner in which our brains work, and attempt to reconcile whatever is going on in our conscious state. They have to be. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t play one on T.V. so my opinion on dreams are my own…well, other’s too really.

The dream Apollo and Athena was, in its conclusion, very heavy-hearted for me to write. It was also immensely cathartic as well. My Intensities keep me closely bound to vivid imagination and moving emotion. Dreams are a part of us.

I never tire of looking up to the Sky and seeing the awesome beauty of cloud formations. Taken just a few days ago, the cloud ‘pillows’ produced an incredible visual for us all to enjoy. If you missed it, navigate to the Sky tab and see the latest.

More busyness. Not complaining…this is life and I do enjoy it. Just trying to keep up! This week has flown by. Our first full week in a few weeks since February has a couple of National holidays. Today is the last day of Trimester 2, yikes! Report Cards are due very soon, more assessments need to be administered today. We all feel it at one point or another, possibly all of the time. Last weekend, I presented at the CAG (California Association for the Gifted) conference in Palm Springs. The weekend before that I was in a piano recital where I played the first movement of two Mozart Sonata’s.

My hottest fire?… TODAY! Keep moving peeps!

The first day of school is always exciting for multiple reasons.  After having time ‘off’ in the summer, and although I always would like more time, I am excited to be back to start the new year. There are so many exciting possibilities and opportunities to unveil for the students and they are always full of nervous energy with excitement.

I thoroughly enjoy my profession and therefore don’t count the days or weeks of school, and I do not pay attention to when my next school holiday will occur. This all happens fast enough once the school year begins.

In the past, I have often had last day/week of school dreams in the first week of the new school year. This does not excite me, but rather make me anxious because I realize that I have not accomplished all of my intended instruction. As such, I don’t particularly admire those dreams.

We are currently in the wrap-up stages of the second trimester of our 2019-2020 school year and two nights ago, I dreamt of the first day of school for the 2020-2021 school year. I am not in any hurry to make time pass so quickly, and perhaps this dream is a resulting fallout.

New within the Dreams tab is an essay titled Day-Off Already. As always, the creative end-product of dreams has a way to add bizarre and amusing intrigue into a typical daily routine.

I realized the other day that the one thing I experience most has been my least published essay entry, Dreams. I think perhaps the reason is because I dream nightly and they are typically rather vivid and full of detail. As a result, I find that there is much to process once I am awake.

Most people most likely dismiss their dreams and go about their day. I never do that. I find that dreams are an extension of my reality that allow me to experience who-knows-what while I am getting much needed rest and sleep. Dreams intrigue me. It’s like our minds are writing stories of their own and we don’t even have to work for it. We typically don’t, in our conscious state, attempt to construct our next dream, we just ‘have them’. To me, that’s the exciting part.

Published today in the Dreams tab is an essay titled Many Rooms, Many Views. The general topic is one that seems to be visiting me in semi-regular intervals as of late. I experience an ethereal sense of being in these particular dreams, one that I need to regularly monitor and record.

On 12/26/19 I published a post titled Much of Me Is Who I Am. Over the past few days for whatever reason, I was thinking about that title and have been somewhat disturbed by it. Much of Me Is Who I Am is not a valid statement. While on the treadmill today, I really wanted to stop what I was doing just so that I could remedy the post’s title. I realized that by saying ‘Much’ of Me… implies that I am holding out on ‘part’ of me.

What that, I want to go on the record with an updated post title…All of Me Is Who I Am.

I am not going to change the original Post title because that would be modifying a part of history, at least mine. But I am making the declaration that All of Me Is Who I Am, because I am happy with being me. I am happy with what I do, and why I do.

This is me. It’s why I have this website. I enjoy writing, and I enjoy writing about the reality of who I am, while including words about those who who have impacted my life.

All of Me Is Who I Am.

Under the Musings tab is a newly published essay titled Perfectionism and Music. If you struggle with perfectionism then this essay will make complete sense. If you do not struggle with perfectionism, then this essay is one you should read anyway so that you gain a better understanding of those who do struggle with it. For me, it took me three days to write the essay just because I kept making changes. Yes, I am a (always recovering) Perfectionist.