Hamster on a Hamster Wheel

More busyness. Not complaining…this is life and I do enjoy it. Just trying to keep up! This week has flown by. Our first full week in a few weeks since February has a couple of National holidays. Today is the last day of Trimester 2, yikes! Report Cards are due very soon, more assessments need to be administered today. We all feel it at one point or another, possibly all of the time. Last weekend, I presented at the CAG (California Association for the Gifted) conference in Palm Springs. The weekend before that I was in a piano recital where I played the first movement of two Mozart Sonata’s.

My hottest fire?… TODAY! Keep moving peeps!

Too Fast

The first day of school is always exciting for multiple reasons.  After having time ‘off’ in the summer, and although I always would like more time, I am excited to be back to start the new year. There are so many exciting possibilities and opportunities to unveil for the students and they are always full of nervous energy with excitement.

I thoroughly enjoy my profession and therefore don’t count the days or weeks of school, and I do not pay attention to when my next school holiday will occur. This all happens fast enough once the school year begins.

In the past, I have often had last day/week of school dreams in the first week of the new school year. This does not excite me, but rather make me anxious because I realize that I have not accomplished all of my intended instruction. As such, I don’t particularly admire those dreams.

We are currently in the wrap-up stages of the second trimester of our 2019-2020 school year and two nights ago, I dreamt of the first day of school for the 2020-2021 school year. I am not in any hurry to make time pass so quickly, and perhaps this dream is a resulting fallout.

New within the Dreams tab is an essay titled Day-Off Already. As always, the creative end-product of dreams has a way to add bizarre and amusing intrigue into a typical daily routine.

Dreams

I realized the other day that the one thing I experience most has been my least published essay entry, Dreams. I think perhaps the reason is because I dream nightly and they are typically rather vivid and full of detail. As a result, I find that there is much to process once I am awake.

Most people most likely dismiss their dreams and go about their day. I never do that. I find that dreams are an extension of my reality that allow me to experience who-knows-what while I am getting much needed rest and sleep. Dreams intrigue me. It’s like our minds are writing stories of their own and we don’t even have to work for it. We typically don’t, in our conscious state, attempt to construct our next dream, we just ‘have them’. To me, that’s the exciting part.

Published today in the Dreams tab is an essay titled Many Rooms, Many Views. The general topic is one that seems to be visiting me in semi-regular intervals as of late. I experience an ethereal sense of being in these particular dreams, one that I need to regularly monitor and record.

All of Me

On 12/26/19 I published a post titled Much of Me Is Who I Am. Over the past few days for whatever reason, I was thinking about that title and have been somewhat disturbed by it. Much of Me Is Who I Am is not a valid statement. While on the treadmill today, I really wanted to stop what I was doing just so that I could remedy the post’s title. I realized that by saying ‘Much’ of Me… implies that I am holding out on ‘part’ of me.

What that, I want to go on the record with an updated post title…All of Me Is Who I Am.

I am not going to change the original Post title because that would be modifying a part of history, at least mine. But I am making the declaration that All of Me Is Who I Am, because I am happy with being me. I am happy with what I do, and why I do.

This is me. It’s why I have this website. I enjoy writing, and I enjoy writing about the reality of who I am, while including words about those who who have impacted my life.

All of Me Is Who I Am.

Perfect

Under the Musings tab is a newly published essay titled Perfectionism and Music. If you struggle with perfectionism then this essay will make complete sense. If you do not struggle with perfectionism, then this essay is one you should read anyway so that you gain a better understanding of those who do struggle with it. For me, it took me three days to write the essay just because I kept making changes. Yes, I am a (always recovering) Perfectionist.

Multiple Perspectives

We go through our childhood and teen years formulating what we ‘want to be when we grow up.’ Many of us are headstrong with an idea, perhaps even a carefully mapped out plan. This scripted and well planned series of actions doesn’t always play out the way we imagine. She Started It located in the I Remember tab, is an account to where I am now, in my working years.

What To Do

We are busy people! As busy people and when a particular task is finished we often think to ourselves, what should I do now? There’s gotta be something…hmmm, let me look at my To Do list…

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we consistently put ourselves in a position where we need to decide what to do next?

It is cathartic to write this because this is me. I am this person, and you may or may not be as well. Those who are intensely driven in life are so because they set goals and actually DO them. We don’t stop until our goal is accomplished. In essence, we become slaves to our goals and we are internally dissatisfied when we ‘fail’.

It is individuals with this ‘intensity’ that actually need reminding to put mind and body first, at least from time to time. Almost like as if we need to give ourselves permission to do…Nothing.

I am fortunate enough to be able to shut off all thoughts when I want to go to sleep. This allows me to fall asleep certainly within 60 seconds. Irene says it’s more like 10 seconds. It’s a wonderful feeling to simply ‘let go’ of anything that has occurred throughout the day, anything that I was previously planning for the day and allow my body to go into complete rest and sleep fast. I never even know it’s coming, it just happens.

Our busy lives are so because we want to be productive. Ok but we should also permit ourselves to be non-productive, at least for a small slice of the day. Perhaps even in small increments throughout the day. It’s OK.

On a vacation touring Italy once with a group, my wife and I were out to dinner with our friends. One of our group members was not particularly fond of her selection and wished she had ordered something else. I remember her saying “I hope this isn’t my last meal.” I don’t need to tell you what she was implying.

As we fill our busy lives with even more business, stop and say to yourself “I hope this isn’t my last day.” This sentiment should be the game changer to our daily lives.

Some Things, Some People

There are some things in life that happen many times, over and over. There are some things in life that happen only once. There are some people in life who we make a point to see frequently. Those people are our families and friends. We typically see them on a regular basis, and even if not frequently, these people are held dear to our hearts.

Things come and go, but they are just ‘things’. Much of today’s American society is caught up in an upward spiral of materialism. Not good. Often the same individuals see others in life just as disposable as material goods in current possession. Talk about disposable.

Fortunately modern day society has opened its eyes to the problem of disposal, and is now much more aware of the long term impact of accumulated disposed products and ‘goods’.

A book I read some years ago penned this opening sentence, “It’s not about you”. Although I read the book in its entirety, that opening line was almost enough. It’s not about you. It’s not about me either.

It’s not about you. Think about it. Yes, humbling or at least it should be.

During our lifetime, there are some people who drift in, and others who drift out. Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes it is not. Those that drift in are those we meet by happenstance. A new acquaintance, yet still in the ‘drifter’ category until a level of significance is determined. Even then we may choose to drift those individuals out of our lives. No worry.

The people we bring into our lives are those we make a conscious effort to allow and show vulnerability. An understanding that extends beyond superficial acquaintanceship. Bringing someone into our lives is something we do by choice. It doesn’t merely ‘happen’ to us. We make that choice. We are proactive in the process. We willingly allow some, or all of our facade to become transparent so that these people see who we really are.

The people we bring into our lives are the ones we are hurt most when they are gone. Gone, as in no longer in our physical realm but never gone in the fabric of our being.

It’s not about me, it’s about those who made me.

Those who made me are the people who I have willingly brought into my life. The convoluted tangled web of my being is intertwined with the convoluted tangled web of my family, my friends, those whom I love. It matters big time if we can reach out and touch these people, but sometimes we cannot. That doesn’t change who I am and it doesn’t change who you are either. It’s not about us, it’s about the impact we make on those around us, and the impact others have made on us. Love.

For my pal Grant 5/14/06 – 1/8/20

2020

The only thing constant is change. Change is just that, change. There is no good change, and there is no bad change…it just is. Individual perspective to change is what causes and/or creates happiness or angst, and acceptance to change outcome therefore becomes necessary.

The new year will bring about many changes. Some within vision, and some unforeseen. I think a retrospective outlook will help us all learn how to better manage the uncertainty of change.