I Only Have So Many Words and I’m Trying to Make Them All Count

A good friend of mine recently spoke the title of this post. Only his intention was not for the purpose of me writing about it. Or maybe it was. It sure got me thinking though, a lot.

I have an ‘expiration date’. We all have an expiration date and we don’t even know when that will come to pass. Nor would we want to know.

My sister, who lost her 27 year old son to pneumonia just a few short years ago, talked about this with me just the other day. We talked about it because I asked. I am close with my older sister Kath, we have always had a special bond. She will still sometimes introduce me as her ‘baby brother’ and it makes me smile. She had great responsibility of the other two siblings in our family including our brother Gib, also older than me, and myself. Gib was more independent however and it was me who needed all the ‘mothering’.

I told Kath that a day doesn’t go by without me thinking about her son Sean, and how I hurt for her. And I asked her the hard question out of loving concern ‘How do you even process that?’ ‘That’, being Sean’s death. I’ve never had this discussion with her because I knew it would be emotional on both ends, and it was. But it was necessary, and it was good, and it was perfect.

During my phone conversation with Kath, I told her about those words my friend spoke last Friday. He spoke them out of love, determination, courage, and strength. He spoke them in front of everyone at his wife’s eulogy, and it was perfect.

I only have so many words and I’m trying to make them all count.

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